How to recover from a break-up?

No matter how long your relationship lasted, the pain of a romantic break-up is inevitable. After all, we are programmed to feel emotions of love toward another person. When a couple breaks up, grief spares neither of the two lovers. Emotions are stronger when you lived with that person and your life revolved around the relationship. During it, an emotional dependency develops toward our partner, and the break-up abruptly puts an end to it. Loneliness floods over us and seeing our former lover on social media doesn’t help matters. How is it that you suffer in silence while your ex feels nothing about your romantic separation? 

Isolating yourself after a break-up feeds your grief

The difference between your ex and you lies in the way you handle this break-up. While you drown alone in grief, your ex-partner has accepted the help of their friends. A more than necessary support to recover from the heartbreak over the love you lost. You must do everything you can to take your mind off things in order to overcome the pain of a break-up.

Instead of isolating yourself at home and thinking about a love that may never return, step out of your cocoon. You can reconnect with your friends or even meet new people. Be careful: we do not recommend that you throw yourself into a new relationship, because you are not ready yet. On the other hand, getting to know new people will do you good. It will allow you to broaden your circle, once limited to your relationship. 

Social media, or “how to never recover from a break-up”

It’s normal to want to know what an ex is up to in your absence. However, this can quickly prove unhealthy and heighten your grief, especially if you do it right after your romantic separation. Coaches who specialise in romantic relationships agree on the following rule: “Remove, block and disconnect“. There is no point in staying in touch with your former lover, other than to twist the knife in the wound.

Even if you hope to win back your love, you need to distance yourselves from each other. With the pain of your break-up still fresh in your heart, watching the other’s every move rekindles the flame. As such, distancing yourself from anything that reminds you of your lost love is vital. The less you see your ex’s face in your news feed, the better you will feel. Some might claim that it would be better for you to be friends with your ex, that it would be more mature of you. Don’t listen to them. Sure, perhaps it works for a few. But you don’t have to force yourself to maintain a cordial relationship to please strangers.

Overcoming a romantic separation is hard, but not impossible. By relying on the advice of psychologists as well as coaches, you can easily mourn your relationship. Without further ado, here are the steps to follow to heal from your heartbreak: 

• Cut off all contact with your former boyfriend or ex-husband, except for essential contact, for example for shared custody. “Stalking” his movements or seeking to confront him will hurt you both. 
• Detach yourself from this bubble of fantasy that clouds your thoughts. No, your relationship was not perfect and there is nothing wrong with realising it. 
• Keep in mind that feeling emotions for this person, even after your separation, is normal. Taking more time than the norm to heal from your grief does not make you a weak person. 
• Accept your break-up in order to move forward.